GAH!!!

Ok, so it's been a while. I actually have a back log of things to post including PICTURES!!!! But I'm still trying to figure out if I need a flicker account or such to post them on to the blog. I also only did one thing I said I was going to last post and that was to weigh myself. I am still at 393 lbs. I have only been varying +- .5 lbs each time I weigh myself which is weird. I haven't found my tape measure so that hasn't been done yet. Stay tuned though to see pictures and some new recipes!

*Edit* Looked up on the Blogger help page and I don't need to host the pics through a different website to put them up so expect them tonight or tomorrow.

Not an actual update really but more of a rant

I have never been a thin person. I always have been heavier than everyone around me. The thing is that I had a decent view of myself up until about my first year in college. I started to gain weight pretty quick in college because I stopped doing sports like I had in high school (3 season athlete) and I could just eat as much as I could at food service. When I would go to the gym during college I always felt awkward and I never had a plan (*Note: always have a plan or routine before going to the gym! You are much more likely to get things done!) So I never went much. My last year I did start to walk to school which was about a 1/4 to 1/2 a mile one way I'm guessing. This is good since I was working as a pizza delivery person. As I got back to the Twin Cities where I am from it took me about a year to get my finances together enough to afford a gym membership. (I swear there is a point)

One of the first non-strength centered lift days me and my friend, amateur fitness buff AAA, we did an exercise where there is a bar which you held onto and then walked your way underneath it. It kind of looks like you are doing an upside down push up. As I was getting into position I started to worrying about the bar cage falling over because of how heavy I am. It had to be over a thousand pounds plus there was weights on the other side of the cage for storage. There was NO way I was going to make it fall over but that is what I believed. I felt the same thing when we were working the lower back when we did back extensions. I thought I was going to flip the entire thing over. I did not realize until then how much my self confidence has faded because of how much I weigh now. Insult to injury of course is the fact that I'm diabetic. So I can't even pretend that at this weight I am healthy because I know that I am not. I don't know. It's just weird to go from being the large, healthy, active and confident person that I was in high school to this even larger, unhealthy, self-doubting, lethargic person I seem to have become. So... this is more depressing than I meant it to be. I will update tonight about my first couch to 5k workout later tonight.

I confess...

I'm diabetic (type II) and I am 25 years old. This blog is going to be me talking about different things from my work outs, weight-loss and fitness goals to my blood-sugars, medications and anxieties. I am currently 392 lbs, though if you saw me on the street you probably wouldn't guess that much. At this point I am doing high intensity weight-lifting and even though I'm watching my calorie intake I have flat lined when comes to weight loss and have even gained some, though most of it is muscle. Because of this I am going to start adding in the "Couch to 5K" jogging exercises into my routine. This will hopefully do a couple of things: 1) aerobic exercise helps keep blood-sugars low and 2) it will increase my metabolism and help me loose fat weight. Though HIT with weights helps my blood-sugars stay low all around it is not helping me loose weight any more. So, hopefully, my post tomorrow will be about my first Cto5K workout.

PS: Look out for random recipes that I will post. I will try to add pictures at some point as well as nutritional info!